Bizarre Scolds

Don't run with scissors. Wear a coat in the snow.

Those I expected to say.

But, there are things I have found myself saying, or yelling, which I never expected.

Here are some things which have actually come out of my mouth and flown towards my children:

Don't put your eyeball in your nose!

~~~~~

No throwing potatoes!
~~~~~

Don't put that minion under your shirt!

But it's ok to pet the snake.

~~~~~

Don't put avocados in your shirt.
~~~~~

This is not a kicking place, and those are not kicking carrots.
~~~~~

Don't make her eat her hair.
~~~~~

Don't put your fork in your shoe!
 ~~~~~

Don't yell at the clouds!
 ~~~~~

Do not color your armpit!
~~~~~

You can throw the hot dogs at me, but not the buns!

I'm also weird enough to have written them down.

So, yeah.

Things People Without Children Don't Appreciate, But Should

• Putting on shoes and never finding Cheerios in them

• Being able to pee--any time you want--without having to figure out what to do with the kids, and then completing the task without interruption

• Watching TV shows during the day that include bad words, bad deeds, bad ideas, and bad examples

• Shopping without considering what will make an infant or toddler or child or pre-teen happy

• Leisurely scrolling through feeds, reading emails, posting blogs, playing games

• Having a clean car

• Having empty space in your house

• Talking on the phone without a barrage of questions and "shows" happening on your side of the call

• Not being randomly tackled and smothered with hugs and kisses when you're trying to get something done

Alternative list title:

Things That Will Make Me Sad When I Notice Them After My Kids Have Grown Up

  

NICU Life

Parents with babies in the NICU rarely knew they were going to be there. Sometimes the baby was born so early, the family is not even prepared to bring the child home, and they certainly weren't ready for a long stay in the hospital. There is a lot of stress and worry, frustration, and fear. There are a lot of big decisions.

But there's also a "practical" aspect to the stay. And that's something with which you can help. Even if the baby wasn't born early, a two or three night stay turning into several weeks is still a big change to any plans.

So, what can you do to help out your friend(s) who are unexpectedly in the NICU? Here are some things friends did for us (and a few things no one thought to do) to make our stay a little easier.

1. Congratulations cards

Even though this is a tough time, there's still a beautiful new baby! Some hospitals even offer free eCards you can order online which the staff will then print and deliver to the hospital room.

2. Books

Story books to read to the baby, and a book or two for the parents. I recommend lighthearted books with short stories.

3. Socks

Grown-up socks that can be worn, then thrown away. Your friends have basically moved into a place with very dirty floors.

4. Laundry detergent

If you can stay, an offer to do the laundry would be nice, too.

5. Toiletries

Toothbrushes, toothpaste, body wash, shampoo, a bath puff, a washcloth, a fluffy towel. Some people will already have taken these to the hospital, but those travel sized bottles only last so long.

6. Tiny clothes

If the baby was born very small, one or two outfits to wear in the hospital or on the way home are nice. Most baby clothing stores sell "preemie" sizes.

7. Cash

You don't need to start a fundraiser. Just some dollar bills and quarters for the vending machines and/or parking fees are very useful.

8. Snacks

Things that don't need to be refrigerated or heated are a plus. If it needs to be eaten with a utensil, include disposable utensil(s.)

9. A home cooked meal

Food may or may not be permitted in the room, so make sure the recipient gets a chance to eat it too, if you can.

10. A babysitter

Sort of. Offer to sit in the room with the baby while another visitor takes the mom and/or dad out for a walk or to eat—even if it's just around the hospital. (Or let Mom & Dad go together.) Sure, there are nurses. But it's heart wrenching to leave your baby with strangers--even good, trained, capable strangers.

Also offer the family “house help.” If parents are putting in time at the hospital, there may be older children who need a babysitter or rides, plants to be watered, grass to be mowed, pets to be fed and walked, mail and newspapers to be retrieved, etc.

In your cards and your words, be sure to mention the baby is sweet. Don't just focus on what's wrong. (And try not to use "it could be worse" as a comfort. It's a go-to thing to say, but it's really not comforting.)

Don't be a backseat driver. Offer advice if it's solicited, but don't judge or scold choices being made, and don't criticize how your friends are handling the hospital stay.

Visit. Hug your friends. Take pictures. Tell them happy things and quietly laugh together. Even if the hospital is far, or hard to get to, or has difficult and/or expensive parking—Visit. (Unless, of course, they sincerely ask you not to visit.)

Remember--your friends aren't happy to be there. And they probably don't want to think about their new baby possibly being in the hospital for a long time. They aren't a special breed of “parents of a sick baby” who have gained infinite wisdom or magically been granted superhuman strength. They are just people—people who probably thought they would be bringing home a healthy baby, but suddenly found themselves in this awful situation instead.