Thursday, August 25, 2016

Bizarre Scolds

Don't run with scissors. Wear a coat in the snow.
Those I expected to say.
But, there are things I have found myself saying, or yelling, which I never expected.
Here are some things that have actually come out of my mouth and flown towards my children:


Don't put your eyeball in your nose!
~~~~~
No throwing potatoes!
~~~~~
Don't put that minion under your shirt!
But it's ok to pet the snake.
~~~~~
Don't put avocados in your shirt.
~~~~~
This is not a kicking place, and those are not kicking carrots.
~~~~~
Don't make her eat her hair.
~~~~~
Don't put your fork in your shoe!
 ~~~~~
Don't yell at the clouds!
 ~~~~~
Do not color your armpit!
~~~~~
You can throw the hot dogs at me, but not the buns!


I'm also weird enough to have written them down.
So, yeah.

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