Bizarre Scolds

Don't run with scissors. Wear a coat in the snow.

Those I expected to say.

But, there are things I have found myself saying, or yelling, which I never expected.

Here are some things which have actually come out of my mouth and flown towards my children:

Don't put your eyeball in your nose!

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No throwing potatoes!
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Don't put that minion under your shirt!

But it's ok to pet the snake.

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Don't put avocados in your shirt.
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This is not a kicking place, and those are not kicking carrots.
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Don't make her eat her hair.
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Don't put your fork in your shoe!
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Don't yell at the clouds!
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Do not color your armpit!
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You can throw the hot dogs at me, but not the buns!

I'm also weird enough to have written them down.

So, yeah.