Thursday, August 25, 2016

Bizarre Scolds

Don't run with scissors. Wear a coat in the snow.
Those I expected to say.
But, there are things I have found myself saying, or yelling, which I never expected.
Here are some things that have actually come out of my mouth and flown towards my children:

Don't put your eyeball in your nose!
No throwing potatoes!
Don't put that minion under your shirt!
But it's ok to pet the snake.
Don't put avocados in your shirt.
This is not a kicking place, and those are not kicking carrots.
Don't make her eat her hair.
Don't put your fork in your shoe!
Don't yell at the clouds!
Do not color your armpit!
You can throw the hot dogs at me, but not the buns!

I'm also weird enough to have written them down.
So, yeah.

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